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PRESS RELEASE: Bay Area Consultants to Become Extremely Minor Celebrities

MTV taps communications firm to star in 16th year of hit reality show

(San Francisco, April 1, 2005) – MTV announced today that the entire Barbary Coast Consulting team was chosen to star in the upcoming season of MTV’s hit show, “The Real World.” Preview video leaked on the internet shows that the new season will differ from the world-class cities showcased in previous seasons, as it will be filmed in scenic Three Cows, Arkansas, population 42.

“We’re giving these city slickers one bed, an intermittently functioning sink, and a variety of ‘colorful’ drop-in guests from the neighborhood,” said Real World producer Mary-Alice Bunim. “Longevity bets at MTV have the over-under for the entire house at about four days – and I’m giving good odds that Clemens will be out in only two.”

The formerly standard Real World array of plasma TV’s, well-stocked bars, overflowing hot tubs and wild décor have been abandoned in deference to the location. Upon arrival at the one-room shack, the new roommates instead found a seriously ghetto 70’s era Zenith TV set with foil-covered rabbit ears, a half-empty bottle of “Old Bloodhound,” the local whiskey of choice, an aromatic outhouse, and a redneck housekeeper named “Sonny” sleeping in the one and only bed.

Highlights from the preview video include fights, nastiness, and tears. (Must-See TV!) The cursing that emanated from Barbary Coast project manager Deborah Lao upon noting her surroundings was so prodigious that MTV is planning the release of an R-rated DVD featuring 90 minutes of amazingly creative uncensored language. (The DVD, titled “What A F**king S**thole!” will be available in late April on college campuses nationwide.)

Other highlights of the initial show include Alex Clemens fruitlessly searching for an outlet to plug in his Treo and tablet PC, and then weeping disconsolately; project manager Jaime Salinas discovering that a bear ate the handlebars to his $1200 bicycle – and still seems to be hungry; and vice-president Jaime Rossi furiously calling a house meeting to discuss who is going to wake up Sonny.

In keeping with Real World tradition, there is of course some steamy romance between a local and one of the cast members, but you’ll have to wait until the final episode to find out the details. (Make sure you watch this episode on an HDTV – oh my.)

Series producers are hopeful that despite the inevitable mutiny, that they can get a season of shows from just a couple days of footage. “Between the pig-wrestling contest, a very special cameo by Country Doctor Jethro, a side trip to the popular local bar ‘Buck ‘N Tussle’ (featuring Toothless Thursday Karaoke!) and a four-on-four Swamp Hockey game against local champions Jed, Jed, Jed and Jed Senior, we’re going to be knee-deep in good film,” said MTV’s Bunim. “Except for Clemens, of course. He’ll most likely hide in the outhouse during all the events.”

The staffers at Barbary Coast Consulting released a statement on their experience: “We are grateful to MTV for allowing us the opportunity to bond as a team, and we are stronger individually and as an operation unit than we were before. In addition to government relations, community outreach, and strategic communications, Barbary Coast now is able to offer our clients tips on how to tackle a wild pig, various ways to cook that pig, and how to bury what’s left of the pig so that a bear doesn’t show up in the middle of the night looking for a nice midnight pig snack, and rip up our client’s house instead. We expect this new pig/bear practice area to be a major profit center in the coming year.”

Happy April 1, everyone. In case you didn’t notice, this is the annual April Fools press release from Barbary Coast Consulting. (Our previous April 1 efforts can be found on our website, if you’re bored at work and need something to read.) Remember, If Barbary Coast can help you with your communications and outreach needs – in Arkansas, the San Francisco Bay Area, or anywhere else – please don’t hesitate to contact us. Alex “Hiding in the Outhouse” Clemens, Jaime “Pig-Wrestler” Rossi, Deborah “Get me the f*ck out of here!” Lao, and Jaime “That’s a pretty damn big bear” Salinas are all eager to take your calls at (415) 364-0000. (And we’re all really, really glad to be safely back in San Francisco.)


strategic communications
government relations
community outreach

(415) 364-0000