Where, Oh Where, Will My Little Dog Go?
days before an unmentionable substance hit the SFPD fan, the X and the
Kron blatted news of a crackdown on unleashed dogs.
For months, Rec & Park has been putting the finishing touches on its
dog-run policy, delivering the coup de grâce to the city’s free-ranging
canines. The department’s dictum: Tickets will be issued; fines will be
But where? Where not?
Kron carried a list of parks to poop in. The X’s Adriel Hampton was more
obliging, offering a location on the R&P website for guidance.
But… pretend for a moment that you’re an average ordinary reasonably
law-abiding scion of
the late John Q. Public. Your dog is standing by the
front door, tennis ball in mouth. And you’ve lost the Kron’s list.
You log onto Rec & Park’s site at
www.sfgov.org/site/recpark_index.asp in search of divine
The angels you seek must be off playing pinochle, because no succor
arrives. There are links to Strategic/Operations Plans, Natural Areas
DRAFT Executive Summary, Budget Meetings & Information, Capital Plan
Update, and the complete text of the New Dog Policy - Final Draft (May
8,2002). But no doggie manna from heaven. The cupboard is bare.
What kind of PR program is this - where punishments are readily
available but the means of compliance are hard to find? Communicate, you
pusillanimous park panjandrums! Or you’re likely to find yourselves
surrounded by a field of fire hydrants, with all of the city’s 120,000
dogs stopping by to christen them.
Double Sex Change in SOMA
Tabloid scrutiny has overlooked a strange bending of genders South of
Market, a backbend so extreme that it has actually closed the circle - she
to he, and back again.
days not so long gone by, a fine old dame named Hamburger Mary occupied
the corner of 12th and Folsom. Until one day, when the stars
moved into new alignment, and Mary morphed into Harvey. Who was a good
guy, say all who knew him. But today he is no more. Eschewing the male
mode, Harvey’s gone femme. It’s now Mary, plain & simple.
On a Clarion Day You Can See Forever
There were rumors: Clarion Alley was going straight. Dark. Shut down.
No more vivid paintings and inscrutable graffiti on both sides of the
glance from a position on Valencia seemed to confirm the scuttlebutt:
Tarps. Gray stucco. BORING.
But rumors of the little sideshow’s demise turned out to be much
exaggerated. You just can’t keep a good scribble down. It’s true that many
of the old images are gone, but they’ve simply given way to a new
generation of red, yellow & green; peach & lavender; or stark black &
Salomon Says Same Old Same Old SOMA
03.03.03 3:00 - that’s Monday, March 3 at 3:00 - the Planning
Commission convenes in “special session” to discuss “land use options” for
San Francisco’s Eastern Neighborhoods. (That’s Bayview Hunters Point, the
Mission, Showplace Square/Potrero Hill, South of Market, and Visitacion
“Eastern Neighborhoods.” How quaint. How exotic.
As the Eastern hordes storm City Hall on Monday, those with vigorous
memories may recall hours - days? weeks? - spent at hearings, weighing in
on the way they want their neighborhoods to develop.
Don’t get your hopes up, Marc Salomon cautions. The term
charlatan charrette is “as relevant and accurate now as it
was a year ago.”
It’s time for a new motto in the City That Doesn’t Know How: Something
like “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.” For the linguistically
challenged, that’s French for “Just one more bovine substance hitting the
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