Watching City Hall for September 23 and September 30:

Watching City Hall

by h. brown

I've gotta do this opening fast. For anyone wondering why I haven't had a column out in a week, the answer is that the rogue fleas from the feline disaster in the adjoining back yard resisted 2 bombings in my secret office space and I haven't been able to stay in the place long enough to do a lead on the piece.

I've bathed the cats twice & done the Advantage thing twice and I'll bomb again today but in the meantime, I've washed everything material in the place & will bomb again. It gets frustrating to come into the place after all the work & have fleas jump all over you. Soooo, the obvious thing to do is to write naked with a vacuum cleaner hose next to you & vac them off as they land and keep on typing. Hey, do I care about getting out the copy or what?

The documentary film crew of Courtney Haslet and Rich Hillis and I went to the Bay Guardian for an endorsement interview before their editorial board a week ago Friday. I wanted you to read the questionnaire I filled out and I wanted to comment on … (pause to vac my ankles) … Having a film crew follow you around is a real hoot. You get more respect. All of the groups and committees from groups except for the Tenants' Union allowed the crew in. (I skipped the Tenants' Union hearing for that reason.)

We hauled into the fabulous new headquarters of the Guardian at the foot of Mississippi St. on Portrero Hill. The building is a modern fortress. Rebarred concrete with massive columns allows 20 ft. plus ceilings and huge open spaces for windows. An open staircase to the upper floor is situated in the center of the first floor.

I noticed all of this on the way back downstairs. On the way in, I only saw the boobs. My gawd! "Does your health plan pay for implants for the guys too?" I asked the young guy leading us up to Tim Redmond's office. It was, trust me, a valid question. Now, I'd heard that Publisher Bruce Brugmann had one of the best eyes in town for recruiting curvaceous staff, but I wasn't prepared for how true that was. Oh, they gotta be competent. The Guardian is the best rag in town and I wish it published daily, so the entire staff has to good. (vac ankles)

Anyway, I was granted a ranging interview that lasted the better part of an hour in Redmond's office (with a panoramic view of a highly elevated freeway off-ramp covering a segmented wall of glass framed in concrete to present the effect of a 10' x 20' live sculpture) We got in early and set up. They didn't have any booze. It didn't matter much. I'd been up since 5 :00 am drinking and smoking pot and had a pretty good buzz on by our 10:00 am start-up time. (vac, vac … ouch!) Tim's desk looked like the desk of every genius I've ever seen. To wit, you couldn't see his desk because the papers & books & magazines were stacked in mounds reaching a couple of feet. In the background, the lumbering Brugmann strode like Shakespeare's Falstaff, towering over the cubicles and seemingly as powerful as the concrete walls (I'm looking for work). He nodded & I called out to him in greeting, "I'm glad to see you made bail!" (I wonder if that hurt my chances?)

The talk was with Redmond, the ever-foxy Savannah Blackwell & real cute and real quiet Cassi Feldman. I was, well, I was me. Which was probably a mistake because I really would like their endorsement. Redmond buried his face in his hands in reaction to some of my replies. (vac, vac – ever see flea eggs? – disgusting little things – like tiny grains of white sand – I'm gonna win this battle! – ouch – vac, vac)

I gotta go. I really do. I'm gonna get the cats outside & bomb this place again. Word is Buddy (the big tom cat of the remaining 3 – named after Clinton) may get adopted. I have permission to start cleaning the lot next door (they provide the dumpster, I provide muscle) & the city will spray the yard again.

The Board is back. Newsom has bodyguards? The Community Music Center refuses to rent to me for another party. Only one debate scheduled so far in District #2. The Newsom forces are spending massive amounts on several fronts already. I feel like an ancient David going against a young Goliath. Hmmmm, me against Getty oil. My pop, the old country preacher would love it. You watching, dad?

1. Demographics:

2. Why am I running?

I'm trying to help stop the gentrification/privatization of San Francisco by going out to meet Getty's Goliath.

3. What offices have I run for or held?

Well, I was Captain of the Patrol Boys at Clinton Elementary in 1957.

Just joshing. I ran for supe in District 6 two years ago. I ran for the same reasons I'm running now but in the race in #6, I endorsed Marc Saloman and spent my debate time mostly attacking Carol Ruth Silver, whom I deemed to be the most dangerous of the mayor's candidates.

4. How long have I lived in District 2?

I don't live anywhere. San Francisco law says that if you don't have a permanent address, you can choose a street corner. I chose one down the street from the incumbent's home so that I could run against him.

5. I'm a political satirist for the SF Call.

6. The only organizations I've belonged to here are the 'Y' and the Dolphin Club. Presently, I belong to none. My political designation is “none of the above.” My involvement in the community has been restricted to trying to influence public policy through my writing.

7. Who gave me the most money?

I had a small concert to raise the money to file in the race ($500). At $10 a ticket, we raised about a thousand bucks. Top contributor (against his will) was Willie Brown. I used my first $195 welfare check to rent the hall ($175) & buy some booze. Matt Gonzalez bought 10 tickets as did the film documentarians Rich Hillis and Courtney Haslet. Kimberley Knox donated $75 & no other tithes exceeded $35 (Monica Bowen). Most were $10.

8. I wasn't organized enough to go for matching funds. I wish I had been. I'd truly like to have a hundred or so signs in windows around the district to give the incumbent pause.

9. I've spent nothing since entering the race. I truly am broke. I plan another party in a couple of weeks and another around Halloween. I have some few novel gimmicks for the last week of the campaign but frankly, unless publications such as yourself print my views, I'll have no real advertising at all. If the dailies had an “Anti-Society Page” ("h. brown's oldest friend's girlfriend (friend is Sean Clements of the DEA) kicked a San Mateo cop & is out on bail" … that kind of thing). My best opportunity is to rattle my opponent in debate. I would assume he can read & will thus avoid tê te à tê te.

10. The Guardian endorsement in District 2 is probably worth a hundred grand minimum in advertising. If you really want to shake up the anti-public power people, endorse me & invite all candidates to a debate under your auspices. Otherwise, it's just one billionaire's kid against another & neither of them like you.

11. What are my positions on all 20 measures on the Nov. 5^th ballot?

Hmmmm. Let's go from memory. First, I'm in favor of public power. In its simplest terms it will mean a reduction of everyone's utility bill of 20% or more. There are many other benefits such as putting the utility under the Sunshine Ordinance. On related matters, for once I'm going to agree with PUC boss Pat Martel and argue that Hetch Hetchy can be rebuilt under authority granted by another one of Ammiano's measures already on the ballot (Prop D).

Yes on D. No on A. Yes on E, D & P also.

I will vote against the 1 billion 600 million bond measure & count on a reconstituted PUC under a new mayor to spend more wisely . I will vote against the 1.6 because the study made for PUC only came up with 800 million in repairs & Da Mayor's people added another 800 million authorization so his buddies could sell more concrete and hire more “special” assistants.

I will, of course, vote proudly for Chris Daly's Affordable Housing Prop (B) of 250 million and I would have quickly voted for the same measure at a billion and a companion billion dollar measure to create a serious SF Land Trust.

No on C. It's another attempt by the bluebloods to grab control of a valuable piece of city property. Details of the proposal shut the vets out of most of their own building. Hey, I'm a veteran. These people have chased the horses, dogs & cats out of the parks and now they want to chase the veterans out of the Veterans' Building. I mean, like, huh!!??

No on BART seismic upgrades. I don't approve a billion bucks when there no proven need. This one came down the pike way too fast & it could just be more concrete for the rich.

Yes on the supervisors' designation as a fulltime job. This is another class warfare issue. The incumbent in District 2 is mentored by some of the richest people on the planet. They would like to have birds of his stripe occupying all supervisory positions. A real tool to flush out actual grass-roots candidates is to keep the pay too low to live on. The proof of this is reading the lawn jockeys in the press who pimp for the rich: Ken Garcia, Samson Wong, Warren Hinckle & the like campaign against pay raises for the supes. Folks, do you think that Garcia, Wong & Hinckle make less than $37,500 a year? Only Wong actually works for a living. The others just kind of like, make-believe/pretend they actually watch the supervisors (see em on Channel 26).

Yeah, then there's the marijuana resolution from my pal Mark Leno. It only reminds me to light up as I get deeper into the questionnaire.

Newsom's “Care Not” is obviously a poor man's deportation vehicle. It will increase muggings and burglaries & have absolutely no effect on the uncivilized barbarians who presently rule the streets in most of the downtown area.

Hall's “Hope” is a double-edged axe aimed at rent control on one edge and the poor on the other.

Leno's Entertainment Commission is a great idea.

I'll vote for Ammiano's response to Newsom's “Care Not.” What is it? Prop O maybe. It has plenty of reasonable innards, whereas Newsom's legislation is simply a plutocratic steamroller. I don't like the idea of taking cash away from the homeless. For the past 2 months, I have drawn $395 a month under the PAES program & I've been able to keep a couch under my body most of the time. I've used the money to start a campaign for supervisor, get a new press pass, set up a tiny campaign headquarters with computer & cable hook-ups, buy a dozen pair of reading glasses, rescue and treat 4 cats. You get the idea. I could have done absolutely none of that under Ammiano or Newsom's measures. They both toss the baby with the bath water. I see nothing wrong with denying cash to someone who has been arrested numerous times for drug or alcohol offenses but to just cut off everyone is dumb. Under the present system, my friends effectively provide my shelter & basic hygienic needs, kitchen, phone. Both measures, in that respect are a step back. So why would I vote for O? To support Tom.

Do I want to give more benefits to pregnant city workers? Yep, uh huh. Good work, Chris. (My own dear daughter will have a little San Franciscan in mid-February but she works for the feds.)

Jake McGoldrick has been bashed by the right-wing press big time for his legislation to give small newspapers that only come out once a week a shot at the city ad money. Hey, my boss (Betsey Culp) is a female too (like Florence Fang, for whom the present ad rules were created) & she doesn't own a printing plant and numerous buildings. She & the Ratcliff's Bay View could use some of that ad revenue to continue to give an alternative point of view (like, the truth).

Would I tax the rich more on homes of a million or over? I'd confiscate anything they have per family over one billion dollars to start. Don't get me started on the rich. I am basically in favor of any measure which promotes redistribution of wealth & protects cheap housing.

I move around a lot & I don't have all the other measures before me. Please send me the ones I missed & when I get back to a keyboard, I'll add more.

OK, the list was in the APA Voter Guide. I favor Leno's Entertainment Commission. The cops have too much power in that area. I'll vote against G. I think there is a network of devoted stuffers-of-the- ballot-box entrenched within the civil service. (Like in most cities.) I'd improve the emergency services pensions. I'm an ex-firefighter and you want a choice of the very best to pry you or a loved one from a smashed car or defuse that bomb your neighbor may be working on. No on M. That's an easy one. I trust nothing suggested by this mayor. No on Q also. It's a dagger at the non-profits while clowns like Da Mayor fund what was effectively a kick-off for Andrew Lee's campaign on the city's dime after funding a job & office for him for a couple of years to try and re-make Andy from “Drew Nasty” (punk-rock incarnation of Lee's who writes songs named stuff like “I want to fuck you” – I kid you not, the kid is worse than me & that ain't easy). No on Q. That's all of em.

12. What do I think of shutting down the Hunters Point Power Plant and opposing expansion of the Potrero Hill Plant? I will personally lead an SFPD Swat team in, place satchel charges on … Yes, I favor both ideas.

13. FOR 20% OFF YOUR ELECTRIC BILL

VOTE FOR PROPS D, E & P!!!

14. I will be reminding voters at every stop that my opponent is opposed to Public Power.

15. "Will I take money from PG&E & Mirant Corp.?" Sure. As long as they understand I'll use it to destroy them.

16. Prop N sucks. I have a Masters in Special Ed and, except in the case of some mental patients and hard-core junkies and drunks, it is best if the client has the opportunity to handle their own life.

17. R is this year's realtor scythe to cut down rent control. It was developed by Real Estate Brokers whose main goal in life is to sell every piece of property in the world. Preferably, several times.

18. Do I believe in the San Francisco Sunshine Ordinance?

Do I seem like a person who cares if you know what I think? Mic me. 24/7. It will be better than da Osbornes.

19. What about the rip-off artists AT&T & Comcast & an opportunity to kick them ta hell outta the city? Can you say “San Francisco Community Cable“? The media giants are hyenas and vultures. They strip to the bone & share as little as possible. Throw da bums out!

20. Most pressing problems facing the city?

Well, of course, there's always the danger of what Mayor Willie Brown called "Crazy people running for public office."

Actually, I'd say the biggest problems here are the same as we have internationally, nationally, and on the state level. That would be: Corporate control of the political establishment through manipulation of public views through corporate domination of the media. I'd rate gentrification of our little town second and the failure of the school system third. The PD needs re-organized. And fleas.

21. How would I legislate to correct the problems?

Certainly, I'd deport all fleas. Corporations are a bit of a tougher issue. Put as much of the property into land trusts as possible through either a donation from Walter Shorenstein or public purchase (which do you think will happen first?). I'd demand that 200 cops be walking … let me repeat that … WALKING a beat 24 hours a day. I'd open a rescue center on Treasure Island in the barracks next to the brig. Use tents if necessary. Get the drunks & the insane & the crack heads & junkies out of the doorways of the citizenry. I've dealt with this my entire life. On the SFUSD, I'd like to see more charter schools. Copy the European models of revolving the administrative positions among all teachers and providing more alternative voc ed programs.

22. Most pressing issues of District 2?

That would be greed, greed & greed. Disposition of the Presidio I'd put at #1. Bigger than the entire district. Defusing the time bomb Pelosi & Yaki & the developers set to turn the place into an office park in 2013. The place is absolutely beautiful. Walk District 2 in San Francisco & eat your heart out. It is the most splendid piece of property on the face of the earth. It doesn't need to be changed. That's the key. You don't need to develop the Presidio. You need to replace Pelosi and tear down everything in the Presidio the Spanish didn't build and make it into a National Park with about a thousand camp sites. It should be for ALL Americans. …

The main job for the District 2 Supervisor should be to try and keep his or her constituents from conquering the rest of the world.

How? Limit family fortunes to a billion dollars. Individual fortunes to 200 million. (Can you get by on that?)

23. How to increase city revenue?

Well, we could have a bake sale. I'm guessing the amount of weed we could raise on Potrero Hill alone would retire the deficit.

More to the point: Fire the extra 500 flunkies that Willie hired to carry his friggin' luggage. There's 40 million. Do I need to go on? I want the city to cover a job for every citizen and we can do that. As employer-of-last-resort, I think the city not only SHOULD provide employment, but, in fact, already does! I am the foremost example of same. The city paid for this column. It paid for the seed money for my candidacy. It paid for the sculptor who just stopped by with a joint The fact is, the GA (General Assistance) & other welfare programs presently support at least 2,000 artists who would be forced from the city by the implementation of my opponent's proposal.

24. Tax the rich. Redistribute the income Make love with their sons and daughters as often as possible. I'll do the moms. Redistribute the wealth. We have to. Greed is not the answer.

25. Would I support a tax on people who make more than $150k?

No, this is San Francisco. That is stipend money. Start the serious redistribution of the wealth at the “greed-line” for our particular locale at around $250,000.

26. I would support a progressive business payroll and/or gross receipts tax.

27. I voted for Ammiano for Mayor. Will again unless Gonzalez runs.

28. I voted for Marc Salomon in the general & Chris Daly in the runoff.

29. I supported public power with many columns cause I think things like air and water and power and basic communications are too important to be controlled by greedy corporations.

30. D in March of last year? Hmmm, E was elections reform & I backed that. Don't recall what D was & I have no way to look it up right now.

31. I voted for Harry Britt.

32. In a run-off in 2, I'd probably vote for Segal although I might do my turtle thing & waddle over to another district to vote where there was more of a difference in the candidates.

33. I have spoken before several groups whom I respect (Milk, Green Party, Guardian) but mostly I think the clubs doing the endorsements are sold-out fronts. Supes Gonzalez & Hall have endorsed me but it could have been the wine. Naw, they are fans and that's my greatest strength. At one time, I had up to 17,000 readers a day (coming up to the March 2002 election). Pro or con, most of City Hall reads my column when it is available. I'd like a larger audience but I'm kind of irreverent and that doesn't play well with most publishers.

Anyway … thanks for the opportunity to express myself. You are the only entity whose endorsement I have ever seriously sought. I make the request only because I think the Guardian mantle would give me some credibility, access to debates & a larger readership. Combined with my natural and acquired skills, the result would be to forward the Progressive cause. Like I said, I'm in this to influence public policy. If you feel our interests sufficiently overlap, anoint me forthwith.

Later,

h. brown

---------------

Watching City Hall

 by h. brown

 – Margaret Brodkin of Coleman Advocates

Ms. Brodkin isn't just the boss of Coleman Advocates. Nope, she's a member of what I call the “De Young Crowd” too. She was there for them when they shoved through the demolition of the old De Young and its replacement with a hideous phallic tower. She was there for them again in public testimony when they decided they wanted to close the Golden Gate Stables in the park even though they were good for another couple of hundred years. Yep, she was there for both of those. And she was there for them when they decided they wanted to close down Harding Golf Course and do a renovation that costs far too much and will keep the poor (other than a few tokens) off the links. She's been a big supporter of shutting dogs out of the parks. It was in this last endeavor that she made the comment heading this column.  Da woman, she got clout.

Enough clout to convince Chris Daly and Aaron Peskin to desert their Progressive comrades on the Rules Committee and replace their choice for the board administering the Childrens' Fund, a $7-8 million  fund flowing from the city's share of the tobacco blood money flowing through the state. Now, Peskin, him I can understand. Aaron showed up at a meeting a few months back with half of the inner circle of the De Young group in tow and guided an OK for them to do whatever the hell they wanted with the city's multi-billion dollar art collection. That morning in the paper, there were pics of Aaron being wined and dined and feted by this same group the night before. …

But who got to Daly?

Leno corners Sandoval

"What happened to change your vote?!" spoketh the angry Supervisor Mark Leno when Gerardo Sandoval deserted him on a building design compromise during Monday's board meeting. Poor Mark, he seems to be the only one in town who doesn't know that Gerardo … shall we say, uh … hmmm, how to say this … yes, that's it … Gerardo “negotiates.” If the vote looks close and you have the means, give that old boy a call.  Or, just wait … maybe he'll call you.

The case was pretty standard. Neighbors in Leno's district wanted to continue to see the light of day when a new RBA structure was completed and they thought they had a deal to do so. A couple of cut-outs on the 4^th floor of the structure to let the sun flow where it had for a long, long time. Problem is, it took an 8-3 vote to overturn the Planning Commission (read Gerald Green) & Sandoval's flip made it 7-4.

Like I've said many times before, Sandoval would love to be the swing vote on every single piece of legislation and he'll use the position to … you get the idea.

Board dances to a new tune

Upon returning from their three-week vacation, the supes found themselves surrounded by new graphics and new music on their cable Channel 26 home base. I dig the changes. The graphics are more provocative and the music is, well … livelier. There is an overlay graphic constructed around an overhead shot of the base of the grand marble stairs in the center of the rotunda.

Lord, City Hall is the kind of structure you just don't see being built anymore. A zone where architecture meets sculpture in grace, form & utilitarianism. From above, the stairs build in perfect symmetry like a master baker's birthday cake.

I asked my campaign manager, Jens Nielsen, what he thought of the new music. He fired up the medical pot in his “proto” pipe and cocked his head to listen.

"It's busier," he began & listened a bit more. "It wouldn't be good music for a porno though, cause the movie would be over too fast."

Best duds of the first couple of week's back for the kids from all 11 districts and their followers went to James Chaffee, who notes almost weekly in public comment that he has "had an interest in the public library for a number of years." Brother Chaffee wore a broadly checked beige sports jacket, neutral slacks, and a bold tie. Get some guts, politicos. Don't let the audience outdress you! And is anybody ever going to follow up on Chaffee's call to rein in the “Friends (they ain't) of the Library” who run the place with no legal authority whatever?

Hey Earl, where's the friggin' helicopter?

I got to talking to a couple of cops a couple of weeks ago about a couple of things and I asked them about the department's grounded helicopter. They exchanged disgusted looks and one noted, "The bird doesn't just chase bad guys. It coordinates the movement of our cars and we might not have lost an officer in that crash in the Mission if we'd had one up that night."

Hmmm, I never thought of that.

Damn, Gavin Newsom sure can spend money! The ad blitz for his move to take away my welfare money just keeps growing. One of the charges of the Ethics Commission is to notify all candidates when one exceeds the spending cap on various races. I believe the cap on supe races is $75,000. Now, I could be wrong about that. The only time I've been near that kind of money was when Uncle Sonny robbed the bank & hid under my bed when I was four. Sadly, the law got Sonny & the cash.

Anyway, what is Gavin doing with all that money?

Well, to start, everyone who has NOT gotten a recorded message from the supe please raise your hands. Uh huh, you all got to hear that one huh?

Have you seen the TV ad where an assortment of thugs with skin more cratered than the moon stare menacingly out from the tube into your living room? They say things like "I spent your money on heroin; what do you think of that?" and "I spent your money on crack cocaine; what do you think of that?"

Ah, Jack Davis reaches back for the golden oldies again, this time doing a Willie Horton clone thing.

Gav should have let me and some of my friends on welfare join in that one. I could say something menacing like "I spent your money to run for supervisor against Gavin Newsom; what do you think of that?" Or "I bought a pair of glasses with your money; what do you think of that?"

Then I got the final phone call proving Newsom's utter hypocrisy. A guy with the distinct dialect of a black man called (personally) to explain how Newsom's “Care, not cash” would guarantee me more services and housing. Momma, momma, momma. It reminded me of those slaves who fought for the Confederacy.

Now, you know me, I'm not one to make trouble. I explained to the man things like how the Gettys and the Fishers (Gap = $7 billion) don't really want any poor people messing up their landscape and the best way to get rid of them is to take away what little money they have to live on. The guy seemed almost surprised. He thanked me for the information and went on (I'd guess) dialing for dollars. Just another Judas, bought by the fat cats on the hill.

Bottom line is that I can now spend all I want on my campaign. Thus far, I haven't spent a farthing since signing up. I'm not very good with money. I got an email from Monica Brennan, who sent me a check a couple of months ago to kick off my campaign ($100) that never got cashed. I apologized but, hell, it's only money. Maybe I can get Frank Gallagher to trace it down for me.

Veterans sell out their comrades

Another pitiful group of sell-outs have an ad on the tube now shilling for the De Young crowd, which truly believes they should control everything in the city because they are filthy rich. Most of the group of vets who did the ad pushing Prop C (122 million clams to retro and redecorate the vets' building while removing most of the vets) vets were from the Gulf war. I guess that's “Gulf” as in Gulf Oil. Naw, it was Chevron & Texaco we were fighting for that time, wasn't it?

One of the ads states flat out that the building was only "named after the vets." You follow that line of thought? Why, that building doesn't belong to the vets. It belongs to the De Young crowd!! Under Prop C the tasteless museum leeches get more of the building and the vets get less. And you pay for the screw job. Put this one back in the hangar for a rewrite folks.

NO on C!

My campaign manager, … he be funny as hell. Did I mention, he looks a lot like John Burton? Well, almost that good looking. He was in a horrific car wreck when he was a teenager (several decades ago). H was in a coma for three months, had to be trach'd to live, and had his feet crushed among other things. He's been smoking pot to fight constant pain ever since. It's an interest we share.

We were roomies at the old Harcourt Residence Club back when it was a really cooking boardinghouse in the early 1980s. Sometimes, it's almost like he never came out of that coma. Then he'll chime in with a line that kinda fits the situation & cracks everyone up.  Listen, you take the gold and gems. I'll take a good belly laugh anytime.

A couple of weeks ago we all went to do an interview with KPOO's (98.5) “Diamond” Dave Whitaker. We showed our credentials at the door to get in. The documentary film crew of Rich Hillis and Courtney Haslet showed their camera & equipment, pointed back to us and said, "We're with the press." Adriel Hampton of the Examiner flashed his credentials and said, "I'm the press." Me, I took out my own press pass (bought with welfare money) and said, "I'm the press." Jens, who was behind me, waved as he gimped in on his cane and said: "I'm DE-pressed." You should have such friends. 

Well, that's enough for today. Y'all take your meds, get your minds out of the gutter, and figure out where you're gonna put the litter box for the black cat you're going to adopt from me. I've got to go see my welfare case worker today and convince him that I still live in San Francisco. Maybe I can get an advance on my dole so's I can compete with Gavin. When I tell him the “cap is off,” I'm sure he'll see it as a unique opportunity. I can promise him Trent Rhorer's job. About a hundred grand to start should do it. Let's see, at $400 a month (and, no interest), I can pay the advance off on … August 1^st, 2022.

walk don't run: sobone@juno.com