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Monday, April 19, 2002

Watching City Hall

by h. brown

Happy birthday to you …

Happy birthday to you …

Happy birthday cruel columnist …

Happy birthday to you …

– Small children in the street

So how did you celebrate my birthday last Wednesday? I try not to get in the way of these things. Different people in different cultures have their own ways to recognize such events & I hate to interfere with ceremonies that are very often rooted in complex religious practices. Simple villagers in many parts of the world find just praying quietly with their families around my picture surrounded by candles is enough. In other places, celebrations of the event are planned throughout the year and week-long hedonistic orgies are not uncommon. I will say that I am opposed to ANY ceremony that involves human or animal sacrifice of any kind. Still, if that's the way you absolutely have to go, I do have a list … Awww, never mind.


My OR (opposition research) people were out on the streets trying to figure out who can get elected mayor. This all happened while they were running back and forth from the corner store, making wine runs. Don't worry David (Binder), this is a temporary outfit. Strictly non-union.

We're still tabulating the results. Still waiting for Tammy Haygood to get us some cell phones. Hell, at least a couple of those cars.

Next year we're using IRV.

Smoking pot

I spent my birthday smoking pot and yelling at Matt Gonzalez. It didn't come to blows, although not because I didn't want it to. Ammiano was right, this guy is hard headed! (What did he call him? “Asshole"?) I was trying to get the bastard to admit that he was our only hope for saving space in the town for the people I saw all around the room … dancers, artists, sculptors, whatever.

Sometimes people don't realize their own power (by running for mayor!!). The guy is talking about getting behind Ammiano & crap like that when we all know realistically that Tom can't win but we feel obligated.

I tried everything. I threatened him. Said I'd come up with a knife and take off a piece of his ear!

The guy is cool. Didn't flinch! He said it would be a big mistake if I did that to him. Said his favorite guy at City Hall is Harvey Rose. But don't tell anyone. Could go to his head.

He's still pissed off I haven't paid him off for the Terrapins victory. Keeps bringing it up. Give me a f***ing break! Who the hell would of picked the Maryland guys? Like trying to guess the next mayor. Good Luck. Fear the turtle!!! I guess.

Sezz he's cutting me off. No more invites to the wild office parties if I don't pay up (all of five bucks).

Says he's going to run for the mayor of Baltimore before he runs for mayor of San Francisco. Says he's not supporting anyone for mayor unless they promise to let him pick one poet laureate of San Francisco. That's all he really wants.

Hell, I think he should get to pick the head of the Housing Authority too.

All that counts is where you sleep

I am a very capable guy. I could dig a damned hole in the ground & live there successfully.

I am a provider though. I generally carry more water from the river than I can use. I do more than my share. Even in a losing cause.

We’re losing San Francisco. We're bleeding artists and people of color & low income. Big time. We need places in town to sleep, to live.

If you destroy all of the nests for all of the poor, you don't just toss out junkies & drunks. You get rid of dancers and writers and me. People like me write the poetry and the columns & sing the songs & play the sax in the background when you get laid.

I am a Hippie (what about you?)

It is a windy night overlooking Leavenworth. The music sings of faraway lands & the women look way too good. I am old but I think of the future.

I am a writer. It is my best tool. You should use your best tool in the service of your god.

I am a hippie. My gods are art & love.

My mind drifts back across my birthday. I ran to the Marina. Three miles in 29 minutes. A month ago I couldn't run a block. Gotta get in shape. It's a piece of the puzzle.

In 32 days I need to be able to run seven and a half miles. It will be a push. The Bay to Breakers calls. Maybe the last one. If the Examiner folds, will someone else keep up the race?

I want to do the San Francisco Marathon right before the election in November. It all fits together.

I'm a year older. Pushing. You always wonder if you can come back again. Lose the weight. Get the sun. Will you still look good?

This is San Francisco where we do everything on stage. I don't know. Neither do you. Don't you love surprises?

huh? sobone@juno.com