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Wednesday, October 9, 2002

h. brown's column for October 9

Wednesday, October 9


Watching City Hall


by h. brown


I want to sell my apartment!

Ė Addict tenant interprets HOPE legislation

It really happened.  Cute little thing from New York City.  The usual.  Here on her family's dime.  Trouble from the get-go. 

Likes guys who abuse her, it would seem.  ďHelp!  Help!Ē  Thatís what she says out front.  However, when you call the cops, she changes her tune.  Makes you look like an idiot.  Hey, she ainít my problem anymore.  I donít manage her building anymore.  I was just picking up anecdotes while visiting a friend. 

ďYou remember that student in 707 [not her place]?Ē  Seems she did a bunch of whatever to alter her mind, read a flyer from the Prop R people and became convinced she could sell her apartment if she wanted. 

I like that.  I mean, I get ads online all the time wanting me to refinance my building.   I guess if a tenant can sell an apartment she doesnít own, I should be able to refinance a building I donít own.   I wonder how much cash I can free?  Could it be enough to counter the half million Newsom is spending on his race in District 2?  Thatís only a portion, of course.  Heís over the legal limit in the supervisor race and the attendant booster rocket of Prop N doesnít count. 

You heard me right.  Newsom can spend millions on increasing his name recognition (like, the yup needs it?). He can spend anything he wants promoting his candidacy for mayor next year (and supe this year) through cover groups bagmanned by Nate Nayman. (Donít you love the irony Ė the number one "yes" man in the city is named "Nayman"?) Nate is funneling hundreds of thousands to Gavin from the plutocratic groups "on the hill."  

Jeez, if I were only a better candidateÖ  To beat these people with their millionsÖ We spend 20 grand to push public power. They multiply it by 50 and spend a million.   Imagine the satisfaction of defeating a cynical bunch who think they can buy anything.    God, I want Prop D to win.

I understand your disgruntled view!

Ė A smirking Karin Carlson, to Matt Gonzalez

I think the thing that pisses me off most about the mayorís people is that they are so Ö cynical. It is the way they smile and snarl at people who are their moral and ethical and intellectual superiors that really grates on me.  A politically promiscuous posse of prevaricators!    It is a disgrace!  And they wonít hire me! 

The mayor surrounds himself with bunches of women with great asses and guys with good teeth and they grin and look for loopholes to be used to shaft the people.   Then, when they find them, they do like Ms. Carlson. (Took me two years to figure out what she does  Ė she sits behind Gonzalez every meeting, so I figured she had the hots for him. Turns out sheís the mayorís chief of staff, PJ Johnstonís bride.) They grin and twist the knife and screw the people out of their voice and their property and their freedoms because Ö because Willie sold them out & it is Ms. Carlsonís (very pleasant to her, from the looks of it) job to rub it in.  Ahhhh, rub it in, rub it in.  

Hinckle wins Brown Nose Award

Now, I know that those of you who actually have bosses have to kiss their backsides every now and then.  But Warren, Warren, Warren!  Try and keep it private, huh?  I mean, some of us just ate, for Godís sake.  

If you were lucky enough to miss it, Hinckle turned his October 8 column in Florence Fangís Independent into a mantra about how ďfairĒ Florence is and what an old meenie Supervisor Jake McGoldrick is.  The column was vintage modern-day Hinckle. Take, for instance, Hinckleís harps on the Fangs: ďalways giving the other side a sayĒ and ďgoing the extra mile to give the other side its say.Ē  Those are simply outright lies. 

Be the Independent owner and the Examiner owner not the same person?  So, if this Fang person is so fair, why did I not get to utter a word before the editorial board of the Examiner?  (Iím entered in the District 2 race against new Fang golden boy Gavin Newsom)  I tried.   Called and left messages for Floís boy James. (Ya like me? Vote against that snail for BART Board.)

If they were fair, it wouldnít have hurt them to hear one more psycho.  Hell, they listened to the guy in District 6 who bludgeoned a goat to death on a sidewalk in Potrero Hill. Naw, they didnít listen to me simply because they arenít fair. (Hinckle least of all.)  Arenít fair and their newspaper empire is simply a tool to keep the cash flowing into Momma Fangís accounts. 

Fair?  How about unions?  Did you know that the reason you canít get the Examiner at the corner deli like you used to (for the most part) or from the various newspaper vendors is because the Fangs donít "do" unions.   Or I guess they do "do" unions in the broader sense of the word. 

Fair?  Face it, the Fangs are society wannabes whoíll do anything to defeat their arch-rival Rose Pak, whom Fang columnist Samson Wong (this guy  Ė unlike Hinckle Ė is a real reporter) called a ďChinatown warlord.Ē 

While wailing against the evils and failure of welfare, the Fangs take $20 million a year from the Hearsts to publish their paper.  Yep, Warrenís salary comes from the same people heís kicking in the teeth! 

Ya know, I kinda like that. I donít think thereís anything wrong with running a right-wing newspaper in a left-wing town.  Just donít lie about it. 

Hey, maybe Florence Fang is as dumb as Hinckle makes her out to be.  One columnist noted that though she knew one of her sons was gay, she really didnít understand what that meant.   Well, if thatís so, I say, give the girl some room.  Get her a little parasol and one of those straw fans and she can walk up and down Market in front of the Warfield Bldg. She can feed the pigeons some of the "good green bud" she can buy from the street vendors there and never know what it is.  The cops are used to crazy people there.  Sheíll, as they say, "blend."   

But Florence, I have bad news for you.  That de Young crowd you want so much to be a part of? Better starch your apron, honey, cause thatís what youíll be wearing when you serve chopped liver at their events.  You will get to stand next to the mayor though.  Heís the old black guy in the red coat with the towel over his arm hustling martinis to George Shultz.  Shultz and people like him control this city and this earth (particularly District 2) and they donít like people who arenít white. 

Believe it or not, when push comes to shove, it is people like me who will save your posterior.  Yep, I kid you not.  About 150 years ago, my cousin Mark Twain was fired from this very newspaper for defending the Chinese here.  And several years later, when the mayor (Bryant) blamed an economic recession on the Chinese and the police department refused to defend them, people like me took several thousand pick-axe handles in hand and surrounded Chinatown to protect them from the hooligans the mayor & his masters had sent to destroy them.  There was a bloody battle in the streets (1871, I believe) and we won. 

So, youíre still here.   You donít know your friends, lady.  The Hearsts may be paying you off but I wouldnít open any mail from them.  Get Warren to do it.

Bottom lining the matter

Florence Fang is a wheeler-dealer par excellence.  Hinckle should have played her from that angle.  Much as she might want to be a part of the de Young crowd, she doesnít need them.  They are old, static money; people who spend their time squatting in public buildings (like the Veteransí Bldg.) and demanding the public give the structures to them (which they generally do, because thereís nothing sadder than a blueblood with her hand out).

The Fangs are the new wave in this town.  Well, not new.  Like myself, they live on welfare.  They just get more of it.  They get 20 million from the Hearsts yearly.  They get a million and a half or so from you. 

Thatís what Hinckle was doing (and will, until election day). Warren was, as they say, ďguarding his nut.Ē  If the Fangs get kicked off the welfare rolls at the Hearsts AND at City Hall, who do you think will pay for Warren to maintain digs in the two most expensive cities in the U.S. and jet atween them at will?  Yeah, Warren is a hypocrite, but thatís his job as he sees it.  To wax poetic about the Longshoremen and their fight for a union while cashing checks from one of the biggest non-union places in town.   That takes a pair.  

Bottom line: Show Hinckle and the Fangs you may be stupid and uninformed (and poorly dressed), but you can see through them.  Kick the Fangs off welfare.  Yes on K!  Yes on K!  Yes on K!  Yes on K!   

K is OK!  OK on K!  All the way with Mary Kaye!  Hmmm, I seem to have gotten off track here, but Ö you get the idea.  (And as a special favor, kick James Fang off the BART Board. Do it for your buddy, h. brown.)

I get called a liar too

Call me whatever you want. Just donít stop calling me.  

Iíve been getting emails from friends who say Iím taking an old-fashioned country ass-kicking in online chat rooms since the Voter Handbook came out.  Now, I know this is confusing, but I canít get online even though I am an online columnist.  I really am broke and thus cannot afford to pay for a premium internet connection.  So I have used Junoís free service for the last couple of years and it has gotten me by fine.  Only trouble is, they only let you get and send email for the most part. 

Now, Iím not complaining.  Free is free.  Iíve also been noticed that the capacity of my email will be cut by 60% after the election.  My soapbox (never very tall) is getting shorter. But my friends have all the fancy stuff and they email me to say Iíve been accused of some awful things. 

Iím here to stand up and look you in the monitor and tell you, they are all true.  As a matter of fact, double em!  I am nothing if not contradictory.  I live off welfare, drink like a fish, smoke pot whenever I can, and yet Iím opposed to drunks and addicts and insane people with parasols clogging up Market Street.  I think the city lacks both resolve AND compassion.  Iím also even less fond of people who take the middle road.   So for all of you who disagree with me, just jam it!   (Now, that is the voice of a truly independent press.)

The many faces of Tony Hall

This time next year, 7th District supervisor Tony Hall could be standing on the threshold of Room 200 at City Hall. 

Those of you who read me know that I support five people for mayor. That would be: Harvey Rose, John Bardis, Tom Ammiano, Matt Gonzalez, and Ö Tony Hall.  Uh huh.  Rose & Bardis wonít run.  Show me some polls that say Ammiano can win in the black & APA precincts & Iím his lackey from here on.  Gonzalez wonít make a move with Ammiano in the race. So Iím left with Tony Hall as the only choice who will be there (I hope!) when the polls open NEXT November.   

A minor bit of background on the man.

Four careers and counting

When Tony Hall was a young man, he was an Olympic-level athlete.  A tenth of a second here, the width of a discus there, and Tony is in Rome for the 1960 Games.  Heís maintained the competitive edge, the razor. Those Eastwood-type features outline the coach, father of seven, and eternal "jock" who will lead San Francisco as host to the next Games held in America? Could be. 

Tony has everything but a flunkey PR firm to put bright lights around his countenance in every area of the media.  He sings!   Does the guy ever sing.   Did you know that when the Beatles were just starting to ride their own personal rocket to the stars, Tony Hall, from San Francisco, California, had a hit record a couple of hundred miles over in Ireland?  Yep.  "The Kidís Last Fight."  The story of Norman Selby, aka Charley (the "kid") McCoy.  Top 10 single for over a year.  Tony considered living in Ireland.  But he left his heart here.

For the next several decades, Tony worked the courts in San Francisco.  The man was everything but a judge, and if heíd wanted to run for public office earlier, heíd have been a great judge too.   Instead, he decided to take a pay cut of around 40 grand and represent the people of his neighborhood as a district supervisor. 

Now, I know you didnít hear it here first.  That is, this Tony Hall for Mayor thing.  Still, kick it around.  The man is no "silver spoon" fake front for the Gettys and Charlie Schwab or Donald Fisher.  Hey, I know this is a left-handed endorsement but if I canít have a lefty running the executive branch of government here in 2004, give me the conservative with real values and an open mind.  Thatís Tony Hall.

Still got cats, folks

I get to do several forums with Gavin Newsom over the next couple of weeks.  You might want to catch the action.  Hereís the lineup.

Thursday, October 10, 6:00 - 8:30 pm. 762 Fulton.

This is the Black Leadership Forum.  It costs money for the public, so bring your pocketbook.  Other than Nia Crowder, I donít know this crowd at all.  I accepted the invite because Iíve written scathing things about the "Uncle Tom" mentality of much of the cityís black leaders and felt it was only fair to give them a face-to-face.  Will Newsom show? 

Sunday, October 13, 4:00 pm. Newcomer High.

Pacific Heights Neighborhood Association, the Marina Times and some group I forgot (hey, I donít have a staff here!) are hosting a forum of the candidates in District 2.  Will Newsom show?

Tuesday, October 15, 7:00 pm. Richmond Rec. Ctr., 521 18th  Ave.

One of McGoldrickís neighbors emailed that I should show up cause Newsom might, so Iím going.  Itís one of those "neighboring neighbors of 2" kind of things where the local group wants to grill the candidates for supe next door.  Not a bad idea.  A lady from North Beach called me with another such offer, but she hung up on me when I said Iíd been married six times & thought Tony Hall was a good guy, so I missed that one.  Always bring your cameras to these things, folks.

Thursday, October 17, 6:30 Ė 8:00 pm.  Marina Middle School, 3500 Fillmore.

This is the biggie, as they say. League of Women Voters.  Be there.

Wednesday, October 23, 11:30 am till 1:00 pm. 245 Market (PG&Eís auditorium). 

Chuck Schwab, Donny Fisher and PG&E are hosting (note the time, no working people here) an impartial forum at which candidates for District 2 will appear.  Put it out of your mind that theyíve already given over a half million dollars to one of the candidates (it ainít me). 

Thursday, October 24. Two groups. SF Human Services, 6:00 Ė 8:00 pm. 890 Beach. And Pacific Heights Neighbors Assoc. Time & place uncertain.

Monday, October 28, 10:00 am. 93.7 on your dial (Frankly George).

A radio debate. 

Wednesday, October 30, 6:00 Ė 8:00 pm. Presidio Library.

Neighborhood Parks Council and SPUR host. 

Thatís about it on the campaign scene.  Weíll have to have another party but I was blacklisted at our first venue.  Come out, folks.  This could be better than TV.

soon:  sobone@juno.com