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second half

Ed Sullivan solves the world's problems

Welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen. We have a REALLY big SHOOOOOOOO tonight. First, Id like to introduce a few people in the audience. We are honored to have here the wife of Brigadier General Something-Or-Other. Yes, yes, give her some applause. She dropped by before the shew to share some really good Schnapps with me. Yeas, yes. And over there is the guy who lives in the theater basement who let me share his crack pipe. Some applause. Yes.

On our stage tonight we have a man who draws puppet faces on his body and makes them talk. Yes. Hell draw a face right on his ass, then make it smile. Yes. You wont believe your eyes when he smokes.

Weve a rap group rapping on unicycles, spinning presidential plates.

Lawrence Welk will do his imitations of Francisco Franco.

The Flying bin Ladens will perform.

But first, I am honored to present the inaugural television presentation of the WWF God Smackdown! The God and Allah tag team go up against Buddha and coyote. Jesus flips over the ropes, but Marx jams Him into a head lock, while the Virgin Mary swings a chair over the red's head. Elvis officiates, but is slammed down by the Darwin/Freud team.

Its all dope, none of its whack.

On our stage.


Hector Q. Mooney